["tHe iNs tHe oUtS tHe uPs aNd tHe dOwNs"]

OMG i cannot believe i get chills whenever i hear Britney Spears and her comeback promotions. It's weird I feel like I haven't felt this excited about something in a really long time. I'm really excited for november 30th when her "for the record" comes out on MTV at 10pm if you want to see it, and the album comes out on december 2nd. haha I feel like I'm a little kid again, but yet I don't. AND SHE MIGHT BE GOING ON TOUR!!! omg i would just LOVE to see her on tour. Britney brings about a lot of good memories of my childhood, so anyone that has anything bad to say about her better just keep their comments to themselves. I'm really glad she's back and the best part about everything is that i look up to her even more now than before, because i know that if she can go through absolute hell and survive, i think i can too.

When people asked me sometimes why I didn't feel lonely or sad about moving to the US and not really having any friends or anyone to really talk to. I think a lot of the reason why i just blocked out all of the sad stuff was because I idolized her soooo much at that time that I blocked all the bad stuff out. It may be a huge assumption on my part, but I never remember those first couple of years here as lonely or sad or frustrated. I always remember them with excitment and happiness. I remember what it was like to go to the grocery store and to see that they had stickers of brtiney spears when you put a quarter into the machine. I also remember what it was like to see her on TRL or on tv all of the time because everyone else was in love with her too. I remember there were videos at McDonalds of her and NSYNC being sold and i bought it to have everything that I could get my hands on that was Britney.

I remember what it was like to get excited about the small things. I was so happy just seeing her on tv, and seeing her perform.  I guess this is the part where I realized how much I have grown up. HOw much she has grown up, tells me how much I've grown up. I'm not that happy little girl anymore. I have a lot of fears and problems now. I have a lot of constant thoughts on my head and realization that this life is really really hard. I'm not ready to take on big problems yet, but then im still bombarded with problems!  I'm tired of having to deal with everything and not see the results of anything. I need a break from everything and I need a break from having to take care of everything and having to worry about everything. I'm hoping once i go away for a few months at ann arbor, maybe my life will get less hectic from myparents. I think they don't realize and I don't realize how much of a weight they are putting on me to come up with solutions for everything. But right now I can't do that, and I don't think they realize that . I'm still just a kid trying to get through school, but why do I have to find solutions to big problems? Why don't you put the big kid taht graduated to work? Why do I always have to not only think of ways not to bother you but also ways to help you? Why can't I think for myself at least jsut once? Or why can't you take care of me like you did to your other children?

I know it's really hard but I'm always the one getting the responsiblity the earliest out of everyone. If I'm the youngest, then why do i feel like this need to take care of everyone here? I need to get away from this household... I needa long break. I think I deserve one. I already feel like I'm super old and I'm already tired of everything. I'm 19 years old why do I feel so tired of life already?  I guess we will see. I just drown more and more of my problems pretending like they don't exist, pretending liek I don't feel this. But I do, I'm not a happy kid anymore. I'm fucked up but everyone else is fucked up so just push through it.

Mexican always say that whenever you get sad or frustrated with life, don't get sad, just push through it. You have to keep a positive attitude towards everything. You are here in the United States for a reason, to better your life. If you do not better your life then go home. Whenever you are in doubt, or feel like you can't do anything about your problems, just get closer to God because he is the only one that can help you. I think that's my last hope.

 Captured by a streetlight surveillance camera, 78-year-old Angel Arce Torres is shown here crossing a two-way street near downtown Hartford, Conn., last week.

Moments later, two cars -- apparently one chasing the other -- cross the center line. Torres is seen above being hit by the second car. Both cars then dart down a side street.

Torres is left motionless in the middle of the roadway as cars and bystanders pass by. Some stop and look, but no one attempts to help him. "We have no regard for each other," said Hartford Police Chief Daryl Roberts of the incident. Authorities are still searching for the cars involved. Torres remains hospitalized in critical condition. Sources: AP, CBS

 I guess it didn't hit me until now..

For some reason, I didn't realize that things were going to change as much as they're about to. Maybe because of the comfortable thought of schoolcraft reminded me that this was just a continuation of high school nothing to really be afraid of. However filling out all of these papers for UofM, figuiring out my credits, talking to umich people, more and more scares me to death. It makes me really afraid of next year like I've never been scared before.

Maybe it is because I know I'll feel really small there. Maybe because I'm afraid of all of the stress that will come with it. Maybe because I'll always be broke with no time to work. Maybe because I'm leaving a comfortable lifestyle to strive for better. I'm just really scared about my friendships. The ones that I have cherished so much for the past year and now they're about to fade away like they weren't even there. I hate not being able to see the people i love as often as I would like to. I hate seeing them or talking to my friends every so often. ONly becoming good friends with the people that I constantly see in my classes or at school all the time. I'm really scared of making new really awesome friends that I know I won't be able to keep because I can barely manage to see the best friends I have now...

Maybe I'm scared for the lifelong friends I thought I had. I'm afraid for their well-being. This whole age of partying wasn't much in high school and now that they're going through it scarese me more and more. I cannot seem to be comfortable with it yet. As much as I try to say "well they're their own person they can take care of themselves" I'm not there though, I can't even hold their hair while they puke the last vodka shot they had. It really scares me the people they meet. I wonder if they're around good people that care about them like I care about them. But then again I can't even complain because I'm not there. I'm not there to talk to them and help them and even call them every once in a while. Let them know I care about them. I'm always too busy with school or work or something else that i cant even text them to tell them how much i love them. Then another semester goes by and it's only been 2 so far. 

I wish I could just say stop growing stop making these decisions. Especially with her.. I always feel like whenever she's doing something I feel like I'm doing it. I cannot explain it. It's the weirdest feeling and I don't know why I have this. I don't feel like this over anyone else but the more stuff I find out the more I worry and I cannot help it. Is this what my mom feels now? this worryiness that comes with having people you love do things that you aren't used to? This really blows.. I just hope that she knows how much I love her. 

I'm really scared that the people that calm me down and the people that make me feel safe, aren't going to be there someday. I'm really scared I might loose them. I'ts not even a big deal everyone does it right? But you didn't do it... why are you doing it now? Why must you go through this pain? It puts me in pain. I'm scared that next year is going to be sooo messed up. I hope I don't loose the one boy that somehow has found something in me that I can't even find in myself. I hope I don't loose him for my stupidity. 

.......I just want this semester to be over..... I wanna see my friends again.

 I just had this really long, amazing conversation with this girl Lilly, and it makes me feel so good about things right now. 

She said taht she could see me being at UofM, and how she feels my inferiority complex but she sees me being very succesful in my stay there. I hope she goes there, and I hope everything works out good for her, she gives me hope of girls learning science haha. 

I hope she keeps in touch, i definetley think that she is one of the coolest people i've met in Schoolcraft and of course she went to PCEP. 

We had this really long talk about boyfriends, careers, families, homework, honors program, religion, PCEP, crazy chinese student, MSU and UOFM. Everything.. we are so alike in some ways it's awesome. 

Tomorow I have to get my poster done for the Multicultural fair, I hope that I am prepared for it. I hope that I finish the board, but i think it'll be alright, if i go straight from work to do it and maybe see alex for a little? Let's hope. 

So many things to do so many things to get done!!
 

After the dreading of the test on friday, I think I did okay on my physics test after all. I guess studying and stressing out about it did help a lot. Well we'll see how we do on the scores. 

Anyway... I don't feel anymore so horrible about this semester. I think Alex and Ashley made a good point yesterday as to why I never have time.
That is why i decided to give up tv for lent. I know guys it's going to be really hard. I know I'm kind of late in the whole thing but I am not watching it anymore. Well by myself, I can watch it with like friends when we are hanging out but I will not watch it by myself and let hours pass away forever while I let my mind be brainwashed with useless crap. I think this will give me more time to do things and get things done. I hope so. 

I now have the train tickets for Chicago! I am soo pumped. It is unbelievable. Although I still have some concerns, I think for the most part It will be okay. Money wise it should be good because I already bought my purse. I think that before we go I'll buy some shirts and sweatshirts so that I don't feel the need to buy things that are super expensive in Chicago. 


On Friday Angela, Alex and I went all on a little field trip to the Winter Blast. It turned out to be really fun. It was nice to see something different, and go someplace different. Maybe next weekend we can go to Ann Arbor. Hopefully I'll do most of my homework between monday through thursday that way I can do anything on the weekend and not put it off until next week. 

I woke up today, and i felt like I have been dreaming this whole time. My life simply couldn't be like this. I have good friends living in awesome places that are still my good friends. I have really good friends here with me hanging out. The whole school thing is a piece of cake. I have been very blessed this whole year. I'm starting to wonder when is it going to start to go bad? When am i going to realize that the things I'm hoping and praying to happen don't? I don't know... I just hope i don't another smack in the face like last year. 

 

 I woke up today with a feeling I haven't had in a while. The feeling of dreading this day. 

I had to wake up early today to study for physics. I have a test at one that I do not want to take, becuase I'm going to fail it. I hate this feeling of just trying to get by on the tests and trying to bring my grade up through other ways, because it just isn't happening on the tests.

I am starting to lie to someone, i feel very bad. 

I am starting to question many things. Why does it always feel like I'm worth so little? Why do I have to stress myself so much constantly? Not actually live but live always half of everything? I hate this feeling. 

So continuing, when I woke up and had all of this in my mind. My mom starts yelling at me about how she doesn't want Alex to come to Chicago. She starts freaking out again. It puts me in a really bad mood to study for my test.

Now I'm sitting here, not being able to focus because I'm so angry. But i have to keep going.

then last night I realized that I have to take  the biology class. I have still one more honors project to do. However, in the UROP internship they don't let you take a class while taking the internship. I'm goign to talk to Faye and see what she says. But maybe it'll be easier this way, to chill out before I take on a big responsiblity. I'll be able to work more. In a place where they don't give me any hours. I need to do something with my time this summer then. Maybe volunterring at a camp or something for kids. I'll see.

I hate the future... It doesn't look very promising.

 My calculator keeps saying "your batteries are low Recomend change of batteries" . It has been saying it for about two weeks. Yet I don't have time to do that.

I don't have time to do anything. If i have any free moment, i spend it talking to ppl and watching tv. I guess I wouldn't be so far behind on everything if i didn't do those two things. However, I feel the need to procrastinate. 

                         I had forgotten what it feels like to be stressed out. Oh how much do I not miss it. However, it will be the story of my life, from now until forever. How wonderful.

I hate my job. I really do. I went to work yesterday  for the first time in a week, and I wanted to shoot myself in the face. 

I'm waiting for Tanya to come back so I can get som esort of motivation to do this. I know that when she arrives, all we will do is talk. I'll get nothing done, and she won't either.. until somehow we'll focus with my ipod and i'll forget about everything.

I want a samsung 23 inch tv sooo bad with an upconverting DVD player. I also want the green bag from the GUESS. I dream about getting that ipod touch becuase of the free wifi. I want clothes soooo bad. I wish I didn't want so many materalistic things. Especially when I work so little.

I hate having to do everything all the time. Working, School, extra curricular and freaking applications all at once. I hate a lot of things.

However, I'm really glad  Alex and I have been together for 3 months! aaahhh... he's so wonderful!

 

 edit:
This is for you.

The rules are easy, just post 6 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 6 people and force them to post this on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in a while.

1. Alex!
2. Maybe getting an A in my math test! Pretty sure of that.. yes pretty sure
3. My friends even the ones i haven't talked to in a while..
4. Getting paid this weekend
5. Getting my passport!!!
6. Kathy Griffin having a new stand up that I have yet to see but she has a new one out!
7. School is almost over! Thank God I need a break lol

 

Life is very good right now.. <3

 I have finally admitted that I am sick.
I know for a fact it is becuase of how stressed out  i have gotten. It wasn't even that bad... but still it just came knocking on my door and now I must deal with this. 
My nose if running like crazy, I can't talk right. My nose feels like it's been punched for some odd reason. It looks huge to me and My lips look also huge. My eyes just want to sleep all the time. I get random headaches throughout. My throat obviously hurts like crazy. And I am tired!!

I am feeling very antisocial right now.
Especially after seeing people ALL DAY! and SO MANY of them. and they were MEAN!!
i came home from work at 6 30 and i didn't wake up until 5 30 hence why i'm making this entry now. 

I wish i had some of ashley's pie yet.

Things have been soo good!!!!
Except for the problem with school and trying to catch up I think everything will be alright. 
As of yesterday morning i am oficially a US citizen!!!
As of yesterday afternoon I am registered to vote!!
My project went alright. I think I do my best work when i procrastinate just the right amount of time. 
I am so happy about things right now! 
Friends are good
School is good
Family is alright
but most of all Boyfriend is REALLY GOOD!
I didn't think things could be so good 
Even though I am still afraid and uncertain about the future.. who isn't?
As i look over my friends, we all struggle to find wat is the right decision for us. 
Even though i would love to say "screw it!" and go to eastern because it's closer and i could live with one of my friends and still get the privileges i want. I know i would kill myself later on because i wouldnt have achieved everything i could have achieved. But then i think everything i want to achieve with just one side of my life as opposed to every aspect of my life.
Why must things be so difficult? Why is the future so scary???

 

 Could this really be happening to me? Right now?

Crazy!

Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone
Just the one, two I was just counting on
That never happens
I guess I'm dreaming again
Let's be more than this now

I had this wonderful journal entry about some deep thoughtprovoking situation! 

then it got erased when i asked what tags were.

Thanks a lot livejournal!!!

Thanks a whole lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 The problems with my mother came back again. They took a while to get here but they are finally here! Oh i just LOVE THEM! I really do understand what she says, but why can't she just trust me enough to do it on my own? 

While i was doing my assingment for humanities, I was refreshed with the fact that one of the ten comandments in Christianity is to honor one's parents. It's intersting, because if we believe in that, then to what point? My parents always say that I need to do everything my mom tells me to do no matter what. This is becuase she is is my mother and i need to respect her decisions. But at the same time, if it wasn't for not following her decisions about school things wouldn' t be so good right now. I don't know it just makes me think....

I see some people now who are killing themselves their senior year, going through this endless routine of classes and pressure and stress and of ALWAYS having something to do and 1000 more things on top of that. I see that and I remind myself of last year. I don't want that to be me anymore. I used to tell myself that it was okay, but at the same time, I want to experience life too. I want to enjoy my friends and family, I want to be around those that I love. I want to enjoy and remember being 18 years old. I look back on last year, the only time I remember well is the New York trip and the Chicago trip. Other than that, everything is just one big blur... of homework, of tests, of feeling like a failure, work. What a great SENIOR YEAR! BUt then i look back on Junior year, and i remember how it was good, i went out on the weekends, and i had fun but then i would study during the week. It wasn't so horrible. I just I don't think I could ever go back to just living one side of my life like that. I'm glad I'm noticing this now. Slowly but surely I'm getting the hang of balancing everything. I'm glad.

Besides feeling a little far behind, i think i'll be okay.  

 Two weeks and it's GONE! 
Yes my thoughts and feelings for the last guy just went away like THAT! I'm SO glad! i knew there had to be something about him. He can't be THAT perfect.
I told Jorge who i liked. He said i should have no problem asking the guy i like to hang out with me. BUt at the same time.. I'm scared he might reject me becuase i really like him. He gives me hope. 
But in other news, I think my next job is to find Dan a good girl for him. I talked to him for an hour last night, it was really nice. It's weird because lately i've been hanging out with so many boys. I used to talk to a guy friend on the phone at a time. Now I talk to Amitt, and Daniel and Jorge on the phone now. Its weird with guys because i always feel like they're going to go away or something. Like they're all  my guy friends, but most of my guy friend relationships end badly. Hopefully these ones won't. I mean i have to work with them so it can't be like that.

I could see myself falling hard for him. If he likes me back, I'll be so happy. He doesnt look like he's the type of guy to like just be there for the making out and then never call the girl. But he's there to like be there for the long run.  but right now i just want to hang out with him. 

I finally found some hope!

Wow last night was the first time that i think i was like "OMG my good friends are all still there, and it's stil the same thing between all of us." I really can honestly i THANK the park for breaking us up of our friends, and having sooo many people that we really don't know that many of our individual friends yet we can still be incredibly good friends together when we are around eachother. 

Okay this entry was pointless....

 OMG I think I got myself into a bit of a pickle.
All becuase of my damn sprinkles!
ha!
Last night was fun.. to some degree.
I thought it was LAME that some people's girlfriends are too boring that they don't party with even THEIR OWN BOYFRIEND! 
I also thought it was LAME how the songs that the dj played were kid's songs, and country???!!?!?! 
Another thing i thought was RETARDED was how my mom didn't let me go do anything after the wedding with some cool people from work..

But on the good news!
-I felt even prettier at that damn wedding than i EVER did at my own prom. WHICH IS AWESOME
-The guy that i asked if i could be his date to the wedding apologized for being a douche.
-I had a good time with Reese and AMY!! and Krista! and Tim and Megan

On the bad news
-Greg was too depressed the whole time!! i mean i love him but even depressed he still thinks the whole world revolves around him.
-I felt really awakard around Dan.SO BAD!
-I hate the fact that i don't like anyone.... =(

BUt on the exciting news...
Jamie is having a party OCTOBER 6th..
Exactly two weeks from now!
And the drama of work continues....
muahahahahahaha 

 Updates
-the great wedding is this weekend! Hopefully it'll be as great as i want it to be!!
-I have a 99 percent in my  physics class!!! I am also at playing Catch up in that class not to be confused with Ketchup. A little condiment humor :)
-I have some friends in Schoolcraft!!! First there's Amanda Pickworth in my physics class. 
-Then there's Amanda i dont remeber her last name but it's amazing i remember her first!! lol who i've been seeing a lot of her lately and it's nice to have someone there to talk to. She is also taking 18 credits AND TODAY  me and her and her friend Dan all talked an hour after class!!  It got pretty nice and dramatic at times... Could there be some excitment happening with that? LOVE IT!
- I just want some sprinkles of Drama not a lot just sprinkles. But can you ever really just get Sprinkles?? Probably not.
-To conclude this i have finished my homework for tomorow's class at 6 pm! 



Goal for the week: NOT TO PROCRASTINATE= DO HOMEWORK ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! =HARDEST THING I WILL EVER DO!

This past week has been so crazy! I've been running around like crazy trying to get everything just ready for the fall, between getting into clubs, getting credits for my certain classes, work stuff, and like school stuff it's been crazy busy. But not like I'm going to die busy more like good.

-Today i decided to clean up my room and my car. Thank god i did it! I was super late to take the clep exam but my room has got some new art work that I've been meaning to put in it since I bought the damn art haha. Then I cleaned my car and i drove it aronud all nice and clean. I need to vaccum it soon maybe give it a nice wash, but it's still a LOT nicer than before. 

-I'ts funny how  my taste in art has changed so much. I didn't think it was possible. BUt since I've been to New York and Chicago, It'sc razy i realy don't like the typical over your couch sort of art. It's funny cuz i bought all these paintings sort of and now I can't stand looking at them. I feel like they're so shallow and just blah.. they give me nothing. haha Now i want some nice installation piece in my room hahaha.

-Today I went to take the Clep Exam for Spanish. I got a 74 out of 80!!! which = 8 credits biatch!! pretty excited about that. Now I will enter with almost a full year of credits. Yeah thats pretty exciting news! Take that U OF M!!!! 

Today at work we got into a debate about the next candidates for President. As much as i want to say Yes this candidate is awesome that's who i'm voting for! it's not liket aht at all. I feel like i need to reaserch soo much before i make the decision. Even though it doesn't count at all bcuae of the electoral college although htey lie and say it does I still feel like i should give an educated guess about who I'm goign to vote for. Alvin was more in tune and everything and it was great how they all knew it and they made intersting comments as he wlaked our department. it was great! then Ryan said "NO Bush is not bad. No i want to kep arguing this with you!" and my heart flloated away with happiness that he had said that...Oh that boy...

On and ending note- I am so broke!

Everyone is leaving me.
I didn't think it was going to be this hard =(
Thank god for the internet.

So i was researching differnet types of jobs that are out there.. 

 Career: Art Administrators-Arts administrators work behind the scenes to make sure artists keep creating and the public keeps appreciating art of every kind.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, arts administrators in performing arts companies earned an average yearly salary of $84,660 in 2006. Those working for museums and similar institutions averaged $83,610.

Majors-business adn administration, public relations.art cristicism, and conservation, arts management

Career: Advertising, Marketing and Public Relations manager
Advertising, marketing, and public relations managers use market research and employ various strategies to develop, promote, and sell their clients' products and services

According to the U.S. Labor Department, managers earned the following average yearly salaries in 2006:

 

• Advertising managers: $85,140
• Marketing managers: $107,610
• Public relations managers: $92,250

Government economists expect job growth for advertising, marketing, and public relations managers to be faster than the average for all careers through 2014. Those with strong computer skills will have the competitive edge, as using the Internet for advertising and marketing is a growing trend.

Majors to study-advertising, business administration and managing


Career:Govermental lawyer-Government lawyers work for state attorneys general, public defenders, district attorneys, and the courts. At the federal level, they investigate cases for the U.S. Department of Justice and other agencies

Government economists expect job growth for lawyers to be as fast as the average for all careers through 2014.

However, be prepared for a lot of competition. Many new lawyers graduate from law school each year. Those who graduate from top schools with good grades will do best in the job hunt

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates the following average salaries in 2006 for lawyers employed by the various levels of government:

• Federal executive branch: $116,700
• Local government: $84,570
• State government: $77,970

• Anthropology
• Economics
• English
• History
• Philosophy
• Political Science and Government

okay so those are the three jobs that i found to be intersting jobs, to math everything that i need. They are intersting things that i would want to do inmy lifetime, they have good outlook like they'll be the jobs to have graduated from, and they make god money. The only thing is that with the first one, i'd feel too shallow. I hate this whole pop culture and consumerism but at the same time, i love the fact that ill be studying psychology and business which i love with also public relations and maybe even international relations. I lovet those things but at the same time i don tknow how much i would like to be so into consumerism. I hate working at a place that is so shallow and based on money when its things that you don't really need for basic survivial. I don't know... 

Then the next one kind of reminds me of the jobs that i saw at like the Galleries when i went to New York. I would LOVE to work for some sort of gallery in New York and i mean see the awesome art and be inspired and also see the other side the more business aspect and shallow aspect of it. But i think liket he speaker talked about in MLA she siad that you need people that are passionate about something like art, but at the same time you need to sell those things, and i feel like i love money! but i also feel passion behind art. So i dont know.. 

Then we have the final job, the more realistic but still crazy to be a government lawyer. It sounds really awesome but it sounds more like a freaking job that i would like to have as an older person. I would love to work for something that actually matters to people and i mean this way i'll influence a lot by the kinds of cases that i get and everything. Theymake good money and i mean everything that I'm studying now seems to fit it soo well!! BUt i dont know.. 3 years of law school.. 

I feel like i almost want to double major in something, this way i can get a job in something right? and then still go to law school the other part of time. This way i work full time but also go tos chool and i would work in the cool job for like i dont know how long like the advertising business or like the art adminstrator but then like when i graduate from law school or later on i would be able to have the governemtn job. Weird huh?? my interstists are so weird. But in this global world, we have to adapt. I think it's such a waste to work for one type of thing all of your life. YOu have to see what elseyou like and what else you enjoy. With soo many differnet opportunities why not explore?. 

LIke yesterday i was talking to my friend's older brother that works with us that he apperantly is moving to the Novi store to be opps manager. He's been working at the CCity for 9 years. I mean that's awesome but come on!! he could have had a real job by now, and real experienced. But i mean it;s not like being a manager is not a real job. But what i mean is what about his degree??? Waht abot trying a differnet job? i just dont get it. I really think that the longest that you shuld be at a certain job shuld be like 2 years you can accomplish a lot in two years. Like me for example, i went as far as i could in tim hortons and i learned how to teach people, some stuff about baking, i learned basically most of the store stuff that i wasnt goignt o be a supervisor in. Then now in Circuit City i will be learning everything about the WHOLE STORE! instead of just knowing the media department like i did before, or just roadshop, im giong to be learning about home audio, televisions and computers. this way ill be an expert, and all within a year. I'm really excited becuase now i can take that knowledge and use it for some really good job in electrionics. But i'll get ot be called a *Sales expert* doesn't taht sound really awesome? after that that's as far as i can go without being a Sup and without wanting to shoot myself in the face working full time. Then maybe i'll get to work with Verizon Wireless, taht's my next goal i heard its a great company or maybe a clothing store as a part time job, i really want that kind of job. Maybe also a

But anyway... I was reading this magazine article about how this new generation (us) is rare to stay at a job for the rest of their lives. Most people want to just work at a place and get as into the job as they possibly can. The author of the article wrote about how she asked the person who was hiring her when she was hired taht seh wanted to know where the company was going and how she could help accomplish that. The article also talked about how most people now have weird intersts into what they like, you could have someone being a great computer person but taht is wayy into weight training that the company has to adjust his schedule for him to do that. It's crazy but i think it makes so much sense. LIke these careers that i picked out, are completley different but somehow they make so much sense to me. I love them al so much. I want to try them all so much. I'm sure if i researched more, i would love even more careers. But i think that's okay this new time. I think that i mean i'll find a way to instead of declaring onemajor, i'll delcare one or maybe three who knows? hahah i think it'll be okay i love school waaay to much. 

so I'm thinking either major in like business adminisration, with um.. art history also in there and some psychology and some um.. political science along with economics and everything shuld be pretty much covered. I dont know it sounds so weird. I think i'll probably double major in smoething that's completley nothing to do with law. Then ill try getting into law school, get into law school and then at the same time while graduated, go to New York or Chicago and work with the galleries. Then as I get older, i shall finish law schola nd then go to like business administration.Once im done witht hat, i want to go to um.. finally the goverment job. So we'll see how that hapens.

When am i going to have a relationship? A social life? Some kids? I have no idea!!!

I need to stop thinking so much about my futre. I can't help it though.. i love the prospects of it i jsut want to make sure that i do get to live everything i want to live to its fullest. I think i have so far, in some ways.. The social life thing though, not working so god right now. But that'll improve right??hopefully??


Now who wants to go see superbad?????